Last week, Jim Riggleman walked out on the Washington Nationals. He said he would no longer operate as the team’s manager on one-year contracts, and that the team’s management was disrespecting him. Without an extension, he resigned.

Jim Riggleman's ultimatum left him unemployed and with egg all over his face. Now, I want his old job.
Today, the Nationals announced that Davey Johnson, a 68-year-old former manager of the world champion 1986 New York Mets, would manage the team for the rest of the season. I think they made a mistake. They should have hired me. But I suppose they still can after the season.
Here are 12 reasons why they should consider me to be Riggleman’s replacement:
1. I am already in the Washington area
Location isn’t just important in real estate. If the Nationals hire me, they wouldn’t have to worry about relocating someone to take the job. No U-Haul, no short-term housing needed, no house-hunting, no uprooting families. I am here, I already own a Nationals hat (which, despite appearances, is NOT a Walgreen’s hat), and I am just a short Metro trip away from Navy Yard.
2. I have managerial experience
I managed a baseball team one year. Granted, it was a little league baseball team. And we didn’t win a lot of games. But, come on, it was fall league. It was supposed to be a learning experience for the kids. Plus, my number one draft pick quit the day after the draft. Anyway, the point is that I have experience. How different could managing 10 boys between the ages of 10 and 12 and managing 25 gents between the ages of 19 and 40ish possibly be? Or how could it be that different from my experience managing fantasy baseball teams or baseball teams on video games? None of those players or virtual players would listen to what a manager has to say anyway. I’ll just fill out the lineup card, signal for steals and bunts here and there, and shout words of encouragement (yes, even for my fantasy team). Been there, done that.
I have also co-managed a college newspaper. So, yeah, beat that, other managerial job candidates.
3. I’d bring youthful energy to the team
Despite my wealth of experience, I am just 22. I could bring a youthful exuberance to a young team that could use the spark.
4. My salary demands are comparatively low
These are tough economic times, even for billionaire baseball owners. This is especially true for Nationals owner Ted Lerner, who can only afford to pay outfielder Jayson Werth $126 million during the next seven years.
The Nationals paid Riggleman $600,000 per year, which is not much for a manager. Hey Nationals, if you act now, I would be willing to accept one-third of that salary ($200,000, plus Per Diem money and health insurance, of course). What a bargain! Take advantage of this limited-time offer while you can!
5. I don’t mind operating on one-year contracts
I have never had a full-time job that lasted longer than a few months (that is by design — they were internships), so I don’t mind operating on one-year contracts for a few years. I am serious. This really isn’t an issue for me.
6. I could boost ticket sales by at least three people
Let’s just say I know a few people who would be more willing to come to $2 Tuesdays if I was managing the team.
7. I could be a player-coach if needed
The concept of a player-coach hasn’t been tried for eons. However, if there were injuries or the game went deep into extra innings, I would be happy to step in and play a few innings in the field. I wouldn’t try to bat that often though. Maybe if Jamie Moyer is pitching…
8. I have already been to the White House
When you win a championship, you get to go visit the White House. I have been there twice, and I already know what it takes to get there.
9. I don’t mind being called “Skipper”
Skipper, if you don’t know, is a nickname for baseball managers — like they are the captain of the ship. Do you think most managers like the nickname? Probably not. I think they secretly despise it, especially if they hated Gilligan’s Island.
Me? I don’t mind at all. In fact, you can just call me Skipper Hallman from now on. But only if I get the job. If I don’t get the job and you call me Skipper, I will pummel you with a baseball bat.
10. I can kick dirt with the best of them
If I need to argue with an umpire, I will do so. And I can get as crazy as the team wants me to be. I probably couldn’t top this though:
I bet he was tired of being called Skipper.
11. I wouldn’t wager on the games
This was a problem for Pete Rose when he was the Cincinnati Reds manager. I wouldn’t do it. I wouldn’t even bet on the presidents race during every home game (although I could…Theodore Roosevelt has never won once, which narrows my odds to one-in-three).
12. I have a college degree
Most baseball players don’t. That should command respect from players. I mean, a college degree has to mean something, right? Right?! RIGHT?!?!


